You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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