i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
