Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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