Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
