I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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