I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
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I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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