He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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