when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize