you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
