i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
