I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
