just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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