A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
