WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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