I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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