ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
