I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
