it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
