This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
