if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
