I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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