Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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