Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
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Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
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You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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