he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
