found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
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After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Success! We fucked roommates!