ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
