I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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