His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
