i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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