My liver just broke up with me...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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