u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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