when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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