Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
