But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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