just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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