Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize