we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
