I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
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his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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