If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
