bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
