What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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