i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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