sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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