I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I didn't notice because vodka
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
