pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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