Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize