no one should ever give us hovercrafts
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
