Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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