No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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