At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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