there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
