whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
