FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
