and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
