just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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