Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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