tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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