I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize