can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
