If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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