I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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