i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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