What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
