then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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