windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
